Posts Tagged ‘doula’

Birth Empowerment or Not?

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010


Recently I’ve been polling people to name my new Birth Coaching Program. The two choices are Birth Readiness Coaching or Birth Empowerment Coaching. While I have been overwhelmingly getting Empowerment as the preferred name, the Readiness voters have alluded to the idea that Empowerment sounds too strong or that it implies we don’t have power. My point in offering this program is that we are powerful and are meant to be powerful in birth yet too few realize this due to many factors. So I came up with this list of factors that I believe take our power away in the birthing time.

We give our power away when we:

  • believe birth is a medical event that we need to be rescued from
  • place 100% confidence in Doctors and hospital procedures rather than in our bodies abilities and the perfectly designed process of birth
  • listen to the negative birth stories of our friends, relatives and others and accept them as our truth
  • shape our view of “normal” birth around what is portrayed in the media
  • focus on the negative
  • don’t educate ourselves and get the facts about birth
  • choose or fail to choose based on fear
  • think we don’t have choice
  • don’t listen to or trust our intuition/inner knowing and use it as a guide
  • don’t actively engage in the process
  • care more about what others think than what we know to be true for ourselves in our hearts
  • believe we are meant to suffer in birth
  • fail to prepare mentally, physically and spiritually
  • don’t believe we are powerful

I’m pretty sure now that I will name my program Birth Empowerment Coaching because it directly addresses all of the above factors that take our power away. Empowerment and peace is the new paradigm I am aiming for when it comes to birth. The old paradigm of fear and control is OUT.

Is There Life After Birth?

Sunday, May 23rd, 2010

Becoming a mom is one of life’s most precious gifts and a great opportunity for personal growth. For most of us, having a baby completely changes our identity. It is a big transition from being all about “me” to completely caring for and meeting the needs of a totally dependent life. Often times the “me” gets lost even after the transition has been made. We lose that connection to our old selves and our old identity and sometimes question “who am I now?”

Being a mom is amazing. It allows us to truly know what unconditional love feels like. Motherhood creates many opportunities for personal growth. Every challenge, if we allow it,  can be seen as an opportunity to become the person we would like to be, the parent we had always envisioned being. We all know being a mom comes with ups and downs, just like life does.  But is being a mom enough?

Do you have the feeling you are here for a reason? Are you fulfilling your life purpose? Do you know what that purpose is? For some becoming a mom does just that yet for others becoming a mom is a platform to step into something even bigger. Not that being a mom isn’t huge yet I’m talking about being part of something greater than self and truly making a difference.  The kind of difference that feels so good it fills you up and feeds your soul. So are you making THAT kind of difference? I recently heard a saying, “the 2 most important days in life are the day you were born and the day you discovered why you were born.”

What is that thing that if you had more time, energy or money you would pursue with all your heart? What are you passionate about? What difference do you want to make with your life? I believe we are all here for a reason. Each of us possesses unique talents and abilities that set us apart from others. There is something that only you can do because of your unique life experiences, training, perspective, etc. I also believe that within each of us lies a great passion for something. Many people never figure out what that is or do anything with it because we don’t put focus on it. When we get really clear about our unique strengths, interests and values, we can then become clear about our life purpose and unique contribution. Maybe you haven’t identified your purpose yet but you feel compelled to do something greater with your life. Whether you know or you just have a feeling, you are being called to step forth and play a bigger game.

I know you are probably saying “when do I have time to make THAT kind of a difference?”  For many, finding balance is one of the greatest challenges, especially for moms. We constantly are attending to our children’s needs, our partner’s needs and then if there is any time left it usually gets spent on household stuff or something else certainly not on ourselves, let alone on fulfilling a purpose.  Can you think of a mom who seemingly has it all together; she cooks, cleans, is the PTA mom, volunteers and pursues her passions? Or some version of that? How does she do it? How do some women find the time to do all these amazing things? It’s all about getting clear.

Imagine knowing exactly what you are here to do and feeling very passionate about it. Would anything stop you from doing it? Sure we all have the negative self talk (gremlins) or stories we tell ourselves and we all have potential barriers to fulfilling our life’s purpose, but  when we are very clear about what we are here to do, we can put structures in place that will support us on our path to success. We aren’t meant to do it alone. You know the saying “it takes a village” right? Well, in order to be successful we need help. We must see reaching out as a strength and not a weakness. When we are able to gain the right support, anything is possible. I know this first hand. That is why I became a life coach and why I have a life coach too.

Whatever you are passionate about whether it be childbirth, the environment, the elderly or something else,  you can make a difference and I am calling you forth to step up into your true calling. Don’t be afraid to play a bigger game because when you are aligned with your values and purpose, your priorities will shift to align too and things become effortless and joyful and that is when you know you are on the right path. The negative self talk always rears its ugly head when we are up to something big because gremlins like the status quo. The closer we get to our goal, the more likely the gremlins show up and try and block us. The good thing is the gremlins are in our mind and we get to choose who is in control. If we stay the course, the gremlins always back off. So it’s about keeping focus and creating the support and structure to keep you on track with your goals.

Creating real balance and fulfillment is about saying “Yes” to what matters and letting go of the rest. It’s about setting priorities based on your  most meaningful values. It’s about stepping into your higher self for the sake of creating positive and lasting change.  Hopefully this one truth will help take some pressure off.  It’s really not about you, it’s about your gifts. What gift would you like to give to your community, the country, the world? How would you feel if at the end of your life you did not make use of your special gifts?

You are an amazing mom and you owe it to your family and yourself to step up and play a bigger game. You are already cultivating the most precious gift you have received in your children. Now what is the gift you will leave for the generations to come? There is life after birth.

For more information visit www.thepregnancycoach.com and www.themamacoach.com